Well, it’s that time! My monthly update =P… sounds weird…
Anyways, so I have pretty much forgotten again that I have a blog… I think I only remember this when I feel like lashing out at something and want to tell the whole world. And then I chicken out, and hence… no real deep thoughts on my blog. Oh well…
Here’s one though… not of lashing out… but maybe a deeper thought than what I’ve been cooking lately.
The title of this blog is actually for me. For the past couple of days I’ve really come to this weird point in my life where I’ve questioned a lot of the things that I think symbolizes me. I never really know how to express these thoughts because I will probably just come off wacky to a lot of people since putting my emotions into words was never really one of my strong points.
So in the simplest way I can put it: I think I’m starting on this weird journey to actually get to know me again. I’ve been racking my brains trying to figure out why I believe what I believe. Christianity, for example. Was I just born into a family who believed God and that’s why in turn I believe Him also? In my heart, I know that’s not the case. I’ve had so many experiences in my life that have proven that God does exist. And even now, I am somehow being pulled to reading the bible more and more to learn more. I’ve never really had the “thirst” to read the Word… not like the “thirst” I have right now anyways.
I guess I was inspired…. or burdened. I know many people who can proclaim their faith and have the knowledge to actually defend their views. But it made me think… if someone came up to me and asked me about my faith, would I fully be able to defend my views? Hence… the “thirst.” I’m not really sure where this will take me… but God has a way to always get my attention and tell me I’ve been going the wrong way. And right now, I think He’s pretty much telling me to get it together fast.
This is kind of hard to post. And even right now as I write this, I don’t even know if I should click the word “publish” on the side of my screen. Not sure why I have to make these thoughts “public” either… maybe to present myself with more of a challenge. Dunno… hence the “getting to know the real me” and I guess I still have a long way to go… =P
One thing I do know about myself for sure though… is that no matter how hectic it could be or no matter how confusing my life can seem, I can count on these guys to help keep me on the right track. I love them =)
